Speech & PT
July 22, 2021
Six months! How can it be six months since I got sick? How naive was I? I never imagined I would be sick this long but I did not understand the beast I am fighting. As I read other people’s stories who became sick at the beginning of the pandemic, I realize I would be one of the few lucky ones if I was better by now. I feel like I am on a mountain hike where you push through a steep stretch to get to what you think is the top, only to find a plateau and many more climbs ahead. I am grateful I am not stumbling down the block, yet frustrated that I am no where close to my pre-covid self. It is hard to make significant progress when I still have so many symptoms every day.
Summer has been a challenge. Reality that I am not cured after the second shot has set in. My body and brain are not friends with the things I used to love: travel, sun, boats, and booze. I have learned to appreciate my forest preserve walks with Doug as my time in the sun and my version of get out and see the world. As for boats and booze - maybe next summer. Brian and the girls have tried to make the best of it without me. Brian is doing everything he can to make it a good summer for the girls even though he struggles missing me. Thank you to everyone who has distracted them from life for a while and given me time to rest. I appreciate it more than you know.
Speech and physical therapy continue to be humbling experiences. I constantly feel like telling my therapists “I wasn’t always like this” as I have trouble remembering what I learned, following directions for new tasks, or not becoming toast before the session ends. Both sets of therapists have compared my deficits to those of stroke patients and both have sympathized that it’s hard for people to understand because I look “normal.” Each chiropractor visit, acupuncture and cupping, reflexology, and lymphatic massage brings out more virus hiding somewhere in my body. I am usually wiped out after while I try to fight it off and recover yet again. The work I do each day allows me to gain a little ground, even if it is at a glacial pace. The good news is I am accepting new challenges each week: walking Doug on paths with small hills, toe taps on a step, using my good voice at home. I celebrate small wins as they happen: driving 15 minutes on the highway, eating a salad, talking to a friend while walking, mindless reading.
The doctors cannot give us a timeline or prediction of how long it will be until I’m “better.” The only thing we can do is be patient and look for the positives. When fear and darkness start to creep in and our patience runs low, I try to remember, “if you can’t change your circumstances, change your perspective.” I can’t always do it myself, but lucky for me, we are surrounded by love and an abundance of positives (there are too many to list). Thank you for the continued texts, prayers, cards, smiles, laughs, and thoughtful gestures and gifts!! Each one arrives right when it’s needed the most. Continue to send prayers, good vibes, and light to Brian and the girls to make it through this ultra-marathon.
